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03 October 2009 @ 08:12 pm
i am thankful to be able to lead a life of freedom and gratitude. i am thankful that God decides to bless me with his love, strength, courage, and guidance from the moment i wake to the moment i fall asleep. i could never explain how special i feel to know that i'm in God's image and that he has this beautiful plan and life he himself planned just for me. i am in his light and i am his lamb. i am his living word and i am the example of what God creates and believes in. i believe we are all God's children, all made for a special purpose and reason.
life is fragil, dangerous, and breathtaking in the best and worst ways possible. it is overwhelming and grasps us my the wrist and pulls us into a million different directions. it leaves us broken and beaten. it renews us with love and spirit. life is really what you make it. you can despise life, deem it unworthy and pass each day with resentment. you can waste your life with alcohol, hate, and pain. you can believe that the Lord does not care for you in any essence and that your life is a mear pebble in existence. you can go everyday without thanking God for at least giving you another day to live. you can do all this because life is yours. it is yours to except and fulfill or to break and shatter. God gives us a choice.
i want to lead my life with love and Christ in my heart as much as i can. i want to spend my time with the people who love me and cherish my presence, not people who could careless if i existed. i want to be a light in a bleak world. i want to smile more than i breathe. i want to praise my Lord. i want to thank him for all the great and beautiful things he has given me. i want to live his word and i want to learn something new everyday from him. i want to take life. i want to take God's challenge.
i am meant to live. i was made for a purpose. God made me a vision and an image of himself. he wants me to live and breath and to prasie and to love as long as he wills me to. he wants me to believe in him with all my heart and soul. he takes his time to listen to my prayers. he blesses me everyday and guides me. he watches over me, making sure that his child is okay from harm or danger. he challenges me to be better, to work harder, to love more, and to never judge. he wants me to love my brothers and sisters, never to turn my back on any one of them. he wants me to take my life and lead it. 
i accept God's gift. i will live my life. all i ask is for his love and guidance along the way. i have nothing to fear or worry about. i have my Lord.
27 August 2009 @ 12:31 am
i watched a movie tonight called Right America. it was about a journalist who followed John McCain's campaign trail prior to the election of 2008. let me just say it was a very well put together movie. but some of the things and people featured in the movie made my jaw drop and astonished me.
the movie interviewed several people, talking about why McCain would be the best man to be president. i learned that america is full of ignorant and racist people. these people got on my nerves. i was shocked to see how some people twisted the events prior to election in their minds into complete nonsense. people called Obama the next Hitler. they said that the actions Obama took towards his presidency were similar to the steps Hitler took to controling Germany. this made me feel so offended that people could take the actions of a man with a young, hopeful following and compare it to a mass-murderer.
some people were asked how they felt about his race. they made it clear in the more southern states that the majority would not accept a black man as president. now come on, it's 2009. if you are still in the mind frame that a black man is lower than you in any way than you are not someone i would EVER want to associate myself with. they also mentioned how some still believe woman should not be allowed to vote still. i believe in values and tradition; when you take it so far to the point where you lower people because they are not the same skin tone or gender as you, you have crossed the line of being "old-fashioned."
supporters made it very clear that working blue collar people are better Americans than people who work in cities, factories, or who have a desk job. i am an American. i was born with that right. no one can tell me other wise. i believe that title belongs to every other person living in the United States. if you think you can classify yourself as a better American than me because you work in a different environment and in your eyes harder, you are disgraceful. a part of being an American is unity; saying that shows me that you do not see yourself as someone who supports their country and EVERYONE in it. how people could wrap their minds around the fact that just because they may work harder than someone else, they are a better American is beyond me.
another thing that upset me is how much people overlook the fact that church and state are two different matters. i am christian and i follow God with all my heart. but there is a difference between religion and government and the two should not be crossed. people believe that because they are christian they should vote for McCain. if i were of age to vote, i would have voted for Obama. God would not see me as any less than his child by doing so. it sickens me to see that a pastor spoke to people about the election in a church and advised people to vote for McCain. when i go to church, i want to hear about God and be told how i can become a better christian; not who i should vote for. our nation stands on freedom of religion; not freedom to run our country based on religion.
it made me sad to see so many people believing that this country is going to wither under the leadership of Obama. it confused me to see people be so ignorant. it made me chuckle when the black men at a soup kitchen told a McCain campaginer that they would never vote for McCain because they thought McCain didn't care about black people. it sickened me to see people compare a good man to Hitler. it awakened me to the fact that so many people have polar opposite ideas and views as me.
15 July 2009 @ 06:18 pm
current mood: ecstaticecstatic
12 July 2009 @ 04:16 pm
GRANDMA'S KISSES, YOU FAGGOT! yeah, i know, we said it last time. fucking deal with fucking bitch.

"ah, fuck popsicles you little bitch. I like this and that and everything in my asshole especially those bitches down at the club! YEAH!"
"hello spongebob."
"whip out your sack, i'll be back in a second spongeballs. I prepared your favorite meal, spongeballs."
"grandma, your cookies make me feel like i have a really huge dick.
"oo yeah, grandma's asscheeks."
"i got one more thing for you spongeballs."

"spongebob, i must say i really find myself attracted to ....? baby, yeah."
"when i poop it makes me feel good."

"don't run away from your feelings."

"isn't this great? my wang is as hard as a prostetic leg."
"spongebob, your mother's a nice woman but your grandma's a whore!
"and she sucked my weiner until i saw her teeth in my butthole."
"how many teeth in your butt?"
"i love his movies."
"i got four words for ya: I LOVE THIS COMPANY!"
"my dick. is sad. because you make me mad you big floppy fish you."
"big floppy fish? you're a fucking assbang, you fucking shit head. fuck you.
"yeah right you wana fucking laugh? sardin fucking shithead fucking flopping and flopping. you fucking asshole im gunna take it out and im gunna jam it up your rear end and stick it in your stagola."
"your like the sponges that clean dishes spongebob."
"really?! you mean it you retard?"
"yeah you fuck face! hahahaha"
"i jerk off all day!
"GRANDMA! i wish keanu reeves was here to save me from the matrix right now!"

"i need"
"why don't you go through puberty you fucking little cock ass."
"you think so?"
"you know how grandmas are about denzel washington. all they want is a black man with a really huge dick. i mean c'mon now really."
"you saw titanic?"
"yeah the worlds a really big ape?
"the rockets, oranges, DAVID HASSELHOFF!
"david hasselhoff would not be seen with gumby. maybe pokey but not gumby!"
"yeah! awkward. sometimes i tape my dick to my thighs."
"allow me to demonstrate. first, show me your tits. oh wow, look at them titties!"
"thank you, their real."
"speaking of titties, i love creed. have you ever heard creed?"
"haha i almost shit my pants!"

"this is your kingdom, spongebob."
"everything the light touches."
"simba was a bitch everyone knows that."
"yeah nala was sucha whore at pride rock ooo."
"oh yeah baby i hit that shit."
"yeah baby just like gumby."
"fucking gumby."
"all we need now is the bitches down at the club to sniff grandma's ass.
"so i got these bad boys right hurr."

"oh spongebob vin desil once made a go-cart that goes around the hopes and dreams of orphans. it goes fast."
"granny have you seen pokey lately he's been missing."
"he's with gumby that fuck face mcgee fucking sellout fucking green painted toy."
"now she me them titties grandma. i'm a big boy and i have urges to ALEC BALDWIN IS AN ASSHOLE!"
"ooo, i want him to urinate all over my tits!"
"grandma! your a disgusting fuckbag."
"spongebob the president was kidnapped by ???, he got that boner looking at my titties you fuck."
"thank you, grandma, my boner is quite a wonder."
"his hat is so stupid"
"ha ha ha! no grandma i cannot accept these ass cookies. the fushion of them in my mouth just suck.

"keep em coming granny! nomnomnom."
"what the fuck would kevin bacon do?"
"kevin bacon would dance around in this fucking hat patrick. naaahhhahaha."
"patrick you betrayed me.
"now give me some assless chaps you fuck face."
"tits. and if i had assless chaps i see this going around." ??
"oh my god! you are a raunchy old woman. all those years with grandpa really made you a dirty bitch.
"YOU'RE A GAY, FAT STARFISH! check it out, look at you! your made of clay, you gotta a pointy face, your

12 July 2009 @ 03:26 pm
I feel so inspired in so many different aspects lately. I am happy and I am living out my days with smiles and love. I'm going to bed with a giant smile on my face and my heart ready to exploid from all the love that it has been feeling.
This summer started out pretty weak, not gunna lie. I want a great summer; I want a summer that I'm going to look back on and just feel proud of myself for doing all that I accomplished in a period of a few months. I felt bummed; I felt laggy. I felt like the days were passing me by and that I was not having a summer that I wanted. I've always known that if I want to do something, it's up to me to get that done. I can't wait around on 11:11 wishes or Facebook updates for surprise and excitement. I need to make my own summer to remember. I need live out the love, happiness, and strength that God blesses me with everyday of my life.
Monday was inspiring and awoke me from a tired and lazy drought from graduation til now. It made me smile more and more then I can remember in that period of time. It reminded me how much kids make me happy and how much their smiles, laughs, jokes, and love make me feel outstanding. It's rewarding in more ways than one when you know you helped make a kid have a fantastic day. I live in nostalgia and I'm not going to deny it. Summer camp fuels this and I enjoy every minute of it.
God's love makes me inspired as it is but when I see it in the faces of these kids and people, it makes me even more motivated to do good and to live out a life that God wants me to live. It's easy to lose sight of love and God's glory. But i truely believe this week instilled so much love and happiness that I am not able to thank God enough for all he gives me. He gives me love, He gives me moments in the day where I laugh and never want to day to end. I love God so much for giving me opportunities everyday to live and to be His light. 
I encourage you to find God's light. I encourage you to do something with your summer that you will remember. I encourage you to do something, may you be paid or not. I encourage you to work hard for what you want and to never lose sight of the glory of God while doing it. I encourage you to find God's love in your own. I encourage you to make your own luck and to know even if you fall or something goes awry, you have the Lord and he will pick you up and heal. I encourage you to love, to be a person you want to be. I encourage you to live your life and never ever think about stopping.

The best part about it all is that it's not even close to being over.
current mood: giddygiddy
current music: he could be the one- hannah montana.
i wish i could do better by you cause that's what you deserve.
you sacrafice so much of your life in order for this to work.
while i'm off chasing my own dreams, sailing around the world.
please know that i'm yours to keep, my beautiful girl.
when you cry a piece of my heart dies knowing that i may have been the cause.
if you were to leave fulfill someone else's dreams
i think i might totally be lost.
you don't ask for no diamond rings no delicate string of pearls.
that's why i wrote this song to sing,
my beautiful girl.

most likely the most beautiful song ever written/performed. <3
current mood: boredbored
current music: the girl- city and colour.
16 June 2009 @ 09:02 pm
wow, you must think i hate you or something.
but i don't! i've been a non-busy bee lately.
i have no excuses.

it's summer. yeah, thanks for telling us that court. :P
i don't have like anything going on so i have no excuse of being busy or anything.
i've been playing day-by-day on what i'm doing.
i have two weeks at summer camp so super ecited for that!
i'm really hoping this summer will be a win. we'll see.

jonas brothers's album came out hoy!
oy vey, i'm in love.
i love those boys with sucha passion.
they make me skip a heartbeat. <3
leave the comments of how lame i am at the door, por favor.

we're redoing my bedroom this summer.
i've been spending my mornings packing and putting things in boxes and trash bags.
it's so empty. it feels very awkward and not like my room.
i cannot wait for the end product.
living out of boxes and on a matress shall be my life for a month or so.
soo. i'm thinking the webcam won't be in use. 

i got a facebook.
no, you can't have the link.
but this thing is hella addicting.
aka my life for the past few days.

i love you. : )
please don't think otherwise.
current mood: boredbored
current music: don't speak- jonas brothers.
01 June 2009 @ 07:37 pm
I have always been a supporter of equal rights. May it be based on color or based on who someone loves. The Proposition 8 has made me furious and dissapointed. For those who are not very familiar with the legislation, it proposes that gay marriage is illegal and not recognized in California. I believe that we all deserve love and respect. Taking away someones right to love is against everything I believe in.
Alright, let's start with all the comments on how I am a "fake Christian" and that the Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. I don't believe that you are very Christian yourself if you are against gay marriage. God calls us to love, serve, respect, and support our brothers and sisters. Just because a person is gay does not affect the love God has for that person. We are called to be God's light, to live a life that he would call us to live. If you go out and say that a person doesn't deserve a right because of the way they live their life, you are not a Christian. You ignore God's call to us and I believe that you see yourself worthy of playing God. You think you choose how people live their lives and can judge every ounce of them. I believe God already has that part. And think about it for a second, what would Jesus do if he saw two men or two women who loved eachother? Would he go over to them and tell them what they do is wrong? Would he judge?
I belive it is petty to have to talk about whether a person has the right to love or not. We have come so far in our history, especially as Americans. Our ancesters came to America for freedom; for a new life. We fought wars and people gave their lives for others to live a life of freedom. We fought for the rights of all people to be free in their own country. We struggled against racism and discrimination. We overcame being a land that judged a person based on their skin and background. How it seems we fall back to our old ways when we judge and discriminate against gay people.
Call me what you will. Say that I am wrong and go against the Bible. As I understand, God wants me to love. God wants me to do what I think is just and what is what He himself would do. God would not be taking people's rights away. God would not turn his cheek and snicker if he saw a man and another man holding hands and being happy. 
Sure, I am not gay. I do not follow a life like that. But if I were, I would want my rights. I would want to be able to love, to hug, to kiss, to be human and share a life with another person. I would want people to look at me as a human, not as a gay person. I would want the world to see me as just another person and that I deserve the love that I recieve.
It is remarkable to see how far we have come as a civilization of men and women. Please, let us not fall into hate and judgement. Let us not turn our cheek to a person just like us. Let us be people that love and serve God. Let us believe that one day, a man and man/woman and woman will be able to stand at an alter in all parts of this country and take the vows to be with eachother forever. A law does not bound or deterierate love. How can we take the right of love from someone and sleep well at night? How do we teach our children it is okay to hate and reject those who are different from us?
I am one person. I am one heart and one mind and one soul. I have one voice and I have one faith and that is with God. I pray he will one day let his people love freely. I pray that we can look back on this disgraceful act and look down on it. I hope this path of hate is one America does not further travel.
Do not play God. Do not think for one second you have the right to say someone's love is wrong.

current mood: aggravatedaggravated
current music: the last thing on your mind- lights
do you ever get those days where you sit there and its like "where has the last five years gone?"
i did and it's really spooky.

i feel so strong after this year.
i feel like i am a bigger person.
i feel like i can do anything next year.
i feel scared not knowing what next year brings.
i feel excited that i can look back and not regret.
i feel proud that i've done the things i've done.
i feel like every tear was never wasted.
i feel empowered to do better and go faster.
i feel as though nothing can stop me.
i feel the Lord with me in every step.
i feel like i can't thank Him enough for days like these.
i feel like these are the days of my life.

a lady told me today that high school is going to be the best years of my life. 
i feel really stoked on that.

soooo much nostalgia doing these things. :D
current mood: boredbored
current music: sweet and low- augustana
16 May 2009 @ 01:43 pm
ABC of Me
Created by johee626 and taken 98767 times on Bzoink
The Letter A
Are you available?: yerp.
What is your age?: my mom says not to say that on the internet.
What annoys you?: close minded people.
The Letter B
Do you live in a big house?: naht really.
When is your birthday?: december 8th
Who is your best friend?: i have quite a few. :D
The Letter C
What's your favorite candy?: oy, toughie. i'm gunna go with butterfingers.
Who's your crush?: andrew bravener & zachary sterling. mmmmm.
When was the last time you cried?: oy, recently. lol
The Letter D
Do you daydream?: yeah sometimes
What's your favorite kind of dog?: yorkies and golden retreivers.
What day of the week is it?: it be saturday.
The Letter E
How do you like your eggs?: scrambled.
Have you ever been in the emergency room?: neh.
What's the easiest thing ever to do?: your mom.
The Letter F
Have you ever flown in a plane?: of course.
Do you use fly swatters?: haha no, i use my hands.
Have you ever used a foghorn?: hmmm, not thinkin i have.
The Letter G
Do you chew gum?: yeah
Are you a giver or a taker?: both, there's nothing wrong with either.
Do you like gummy candies?: yeap!
The Letter H
How are you?: really tired, but i'm swell.
What color is your hair?: brown.
The Letter I
What's your favorite ice cream?: oy, i hafta go with chocolate brownie ben & jerrys!
Have you ever ice skated?: yeah, it didn't go well.
Do you play an instrument?: negatory, i wish i played the uke though.
The Letter J
What's your favorite jelly bean brand?: uh, there's brands?
Do you wear jewelry?: yeah sometimes.
The Letter K
Who do you want to kill?: haha no one really.
Do you want kids?: yeah.
Where did you go for kindergarten?: the same school i'm at now. oyvey.
The Letter L
Are you laid back?: i can be.
Do you lie?: sometimes.
The Letter M
Whats your favorite movie?: haha i love too many!
Do you still watch Disney movies?: of course, they're the best!
Do you like mangos?: um, their not my favorite.
The Letter N
Do you have a nickname?: yeah, court.
What is your real name?: courtney
Whats your favorite number?: 23
Do you prefer night over day?: i like both.
The Letter O
What's your one wish?: health and happiness for all.
Are you an only child?: kinda sorta.
The Letter P
What one fear are you most paranoid about?: life. lol
What are your pet peeves?: people that don't know when to stop talking.
What's a personality trait you look for in people?: a kind heart and sense of humor.
The Letter Q
What's your favorite quote?: i have a lot.
Are you quick to judge people?: sadly, yeah.
The Letter R
Do you think you're always right?: nope.
Are you one to cry?: yeah.
The Letter S
Do you prefer sun or rain?: hm when their balanced, both.
Do you like snow?: YEP!
What's your favorite season?: oy, them all!
The Letter T
What time is it?: 1:38 PM
What time did you wake up?: erm around 10:30.
When was the last time you slept in a tent?: i don't think i ever have!
The Letter U
Are you wearing underwear?: .......... yeah.
Underwear or boxers?: for me? underwear. for boys? boxers i suppose.
The Letter V
What's the worst veggie?: hoy! broccoli i hafta say.
Where do you want to go on vacation?: paris.
The Letter W
What's your worst habit?: complaining.
Where do you live?: in a home.
What's your worst fear?: death. but with God, what do i fear?
The Letter X
Have you ever had an x-ray?: yep. several.
Have you seen the x-games?: i don't think so.
Do you own a xylophone?: haha no.
The Letter Y
Do you like the color yellow?: i do!
What's one thing you yearn for?: sleeep and my left leg not to hurt.
The Letter Z
Whats your zodiac sign?: saggitarious.
Do you believe in the zodiac?: nah.
Favorite zoo animal?: ZEBRA! wait, are they zoo animals?
You've been totally Bzoink*d!
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